Being the Light

Jesus said to them, “Does anyone bring in a lamp in order to put it under a basket or a bed? Shouldn’t it be placed on a lampstand? Mark 4:20-22 Until recently, I've been reading that verse and thinking that it means I need to tell EVERYONE, including my Jewish family and friends, about coming to Christ in my faith. It's been tearing me up that I know that I should be proclaiming the good news to everyone...all this guilt that I have and knowing how disappointed people will be in me has prevented me from shouting it from the mountaintops. However, I think my perspective on this verse has shifted a bit in the last couple of months. Why can't I be the light...just do the things that Jesus did...LOVE and love well. Love the sinners, love the poor, love the people who don't love you. Treat your neighbor as yourself. I don't know about you, but I'd like to be treated well...and whether I ever am or not, it shouldn't stop me from treating others well, from being the light. I don't have to TELL anyone about Jesus, I can SHOW them who Jesus is by my actions and with my heart. I have seen the light in others, I see Jesus everyday in many people - including my awesome bible study girls who have been amazingly supportive and inspirational to me. I can see His light in them, shining so bright...sure, I happen to KNOW that it's because of their faith in God and their walk with Him. But what if I didn't know that? Would I still think they were great people with amazing hearts? You bet I would! Would I be curious to find out what makes them shine so bright? Yep, I would. Is it possible that others might see that light in me and wonder where it's coming from? Yep, sure is possible. Wouldn't that open up a potential path to a conversation where I might give credit to God for the light they see in me? Sure could. Hmm. I think I'm gonna order up some of that LIGHT stuff from the menu, please. I think that it starts with my last post about gratitude and I have started my own gratitude journal. Only have 70 things on that list so far because I haven't been so faithful about writing in it every day...but even when I am not writing things down, I'm constantly walking through my days and nights looking at life through a lens of gratitude and I gotta say, it's pretty awesome what that has done to my heart. Another thing I started doing is to take action on things that stir in my heart. One example is that almost every day I work downtown, there is a homeless man standing on the street off the highway as I exit. It's not always the same man, in fact I don't think I've seen the same one twice so far. Seeing them has tugged on my heart strings for a long time - not just since I've had this job but my whole life whenever I see someone on the streets begging for work or money or food. Unfortunately, our society has this stigma about homeless people...and there's a fear of giving them money because what if they go buy alcohol or cigarettes or drugs with that money? How do I know they aren't just scamming me? Or there's a fear that maybe they'll try to jump into the car and kidnap, rape, murder...whatever. I've been gripped for years by this fear. I've either avoided eye contact or I've walked fast past them or sometimes I've dropped money into their tins, but questioning in my heart what they would do with that money. So, one day, I got off the highway, and remembered I had an extra protein bar in my bag. So I waved the guy standing there over to me and gave him the protein bar. He seemed grateful, I looked him in the eye and said "God bless you sir" and he blessed me right back. I went home and I told my boys and I had this idea that every day I go to work down there, I can pack a bag of food to hand whoever might be standing there, and I asked them to help me pick some things to put into my bag for the next day. So far, I've handed 5 or 6 bags of food to 5 or 6 different men. I have added notes with a prayer or some scripture. I have to say, it feels REALLY good to be able to do SOMETHING for someone else. I hope they eat the food or at least give it to someone else that is hungry. It doesn't matter what they do, I stopped and took the time to look someone in the eye that I used to fear to some degree, to give them something to eat, and to bless them. In my own small little way, I'm showing someone outside of my comfort zone the love of God, the light. In my upbringing, we call this a Mitzvah or good deed. This, according to many Jews...and others, is the way to get to heaven. By doing good deeds. It's actions that get you written into the book of life. The problem with this, is that it's not really about the heart, it's about the deed. Many people like to get credit for their good deeds. They are looking for praise and for someone to acknowledge what they are doing, that's what makes them feel good about it. Honestly, it does make me feel good when someone recognizes that I've done a mitzvah for someone, but it is HUMBLING to just do it when no one is watching and to do it because you feel led by God to serve others in some way. I always think about whether I should tell people when I've done a good deed because I really do not want to seem like I'm boastful or that I'm seeking praise or that I'm a better person because I did something nice for someone, or that this is what's going to get me into heaven. The truth is, heaven is here and now for those of us that want to live in God's kingdom. It's not just some place we go after we die because we did a lot of good stuff in our life on earth. Living in the kingdom means following God, not people. But, there is something valuable, I think, in telling others about things that we do. It gives us ideas of things WE can do for others. I LOVE hearing about what people do for others. My great friend/neighbor that I talk about alot, her husband has told me about some good deeds that he's done for others and it not only warms my heart, but it gives me ideas of things I can do - and he ALWAYS gives the credit to God. I loved a recent story that involved him filling up someone's gas tank while he was waiting for his tank to fill - someone that he could tell was struggling and was only able to pump a certain amount of gas because that's all the money she had. Through something that only God could orchestrate, he was actually "forced" to look around and was able to see this person in need, and quickly offered to fill up her tank. She was so grateful that someone would do that for her. I loved hearing this story because now when I'm at a gas station and in my own little world pumping my gas, I can be on the lookout for someone that could use a full tank. That is what fills my heart and that is how I want to be the light. See a need, be led by God to do something, and do it...not for recognition or for praise or for a plaque on the wall, but to be the light of God in this world full of darkness. I just want to be the light in my words, in my deeds, and especially in my heart. Someday, maybe someone will inquire about this light and it will open up a conversation about Jesus.