Heartbroken...

I've been reading stuff (big surprise) this week. I finished reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis - GREAT book by the way! But I also started searching around online for stuff. I just have so much that I want to know and understand...so sometimes I'll search my Bible app for a particular "keyword" and then I'll start reading something, and then I'll have questions, so I'll go online searching for answers, explanations, etc. Sometimes I find good stuff, sometimes I find stuff that starts my mind down the path of doubt. This week brought a little of both.

Here's what this week also brought...alot of heartache over something that really has been bothering me, upsetting me, frustrating me...for a while. It's the whole separation of Judaism and Christianity. The history - there's so much history - of persecution, animocity...that has dragged both Judaism and Christianity through the mud so to speak. We're not really supposed to be these two separate religions! I'm having a really really hard time with this because if it had worked out as it was supposed to have worked out - then there'd be no problem with telling my family I believe in Jesus and the New Testament, cus they would too! We would ALL be celebrating and cherishing the same stuff!!! I found a website that had a lot of really good stuff about this issue and I wanted to share it with whoever out there might be reading my blog. I hope you'll take some time to read this! Would love to read your comments/feedback.

http://www.hebrew4christians.com/Articles/Christendom/christendom.html

As a side note, I think a big reason for why this separation is so heartbreaking for me is that I really don't know where I belong. I mean, I know I belong to God - and my Bible study group makes me feel like I "belong" to/with them, but I am struggling with where I belong as far as in my communal religious life. I have been going to church for quite some time, and I really do like it and I feel...I guess fairly comfortable there, but not completely...I feel like it's missing it's Hebrew/Jewish roots. I mean I know that "the church" is primarily made up of gentile believers who weren't Jewish to begin with, but they were supposed to be "grafted in" to the Jewish faith, not set apart from it. I go to synagogue sometimes and have that "familiar" feeling and comfort because that's how/where I grew up, but I don't feel completely comfortable there either...because there they ONLY live in the Old Testament and don't see, understand or believe in the New Testament and in Jesus as the Messiah. I know there are "messianic" temples - which are mostly Jews who have come to believe in Jesus and the New Testament...and to be fair, I haven't actually gone to a service there - but I'm not really sure that would be my answer either. I want Jews and Christians to come together, truly come together, as we were meant to be. The Christians have much to learn and gain from the Jews and the Jews have much to learn and gain from the Christians. This is what I want, and probably will never see in my lifetime. In the meantime, I hope, I pray, and I am heartbroken.