A few weeks ago, at my bible study, we all were telling each other how the others could pray for us in the coming week. I asked for something that I've been praying for now for months, that I could meet another Jewish believer who would truly understand what I'm going through in my faith journey and my "rub" over telling my family and Jewish friends about it. WOW is God faithfull in amazing ways! Here's what happened...
One of the girls in my study was at another bible study at her Church the following week, and the speaker was (are you sitting down?) a JEWISH woman who is a believer! She went up to this woman after the study, told her about me, and before she could complete her sentence, the woman was writing down her contact information for my friend to give me!!!! We exchanged emails, and I met with her the other day! Turns out we have very similar backgrounds, raised in Conservative Jewish synagogues, having Bat Mitzvah's, marrying non-Jewish men. Much of what she told me about her life so resonated with me, down to the way we perceived the Syngagogue experience, prayer, etc. She's been on her journey for about 15 years and she has told her family. It hasn't been pretty, but sounds about like I think it will be with my family...no one disowning her, but definite disappointment and very superficial relationships with them...and lots of tension. It's sad, for sure...but she totally gets it, understands fully what I'm going through and what I'm facing. But wait, there's more!
This amazing woman actually has been called by God to teach and enlighten the Gentile church about God's call on Israel and the Jewish people. She's not just a Jewish believer, she's a teacher trying to show the connections between Jew and Gentile and how we're ALL part of God's plan. She told me about Romans Chapters 9-11, which I know I've read at least 3 times now, but clearly didn't understand what I was reading! After she explained it to me, I went back and read it again, and OH MY GOODNESS! WOW. I know I will absolutely not do this justice and I apologize if I'm misunderstanding or misinterpreting what she was telling me and what I'm reading of Paul's letter to the Romans, but I'm going to try because it's so incredibly important to my journey...and to the journey of ALL believers, whether Jew or Gentile. I've always thought that it was the Jews that turned their backs on God in disobedience and the reason they don't see or understand the truth I've come to know was because they were blind to it...and that is true, but they are blind to it because they have been blinded to it by God (and yes, because of their disobedience)..."A partial hardening has happened to Israel until the full number of the Gentiles has come in..." (Romans 11:25, NET). It's all part of His plan. I urge you to read these chapters of Romans and see for yourself the plan that God has for us all. Meanwhile, there's even more for me...
"And Isaiah cries out on behalf of Israel, 'Though the number of the children of Israel are as the sand of the sea, only the remnant will be saved' (Romans 9:27). I'm a remnant. I've been saved by grace. The Jewish people will not see and know the truth until the time that God chooses to reveal it to them, until the full number of the Gentiles has come to believe. But along the way, God will choose to reveal His truth to some of the Jewish people. I think He knows which ones will have the heart and the open-mind to receive this truth, and I think He knew that I would be one of those people. I don't know why me and maybe I'll never really know...but that is my new focus. To figure out why He revealed His truth to me, and to figure out what His will is for me, however long that takes.
Well, I have to tell you...I left my new friend the other day feeling pretty overwhelmed and scared. I felt I think like Jonah when God asked him to go to Nineveh...I wanted to just run away and hide in Tarshish, or maybe Tahiti or somewhere, anywhere but where I might be headed. This is going to be a rough road, it has been already. But...running away isn't going to get me anywhere, and certainly won't get me where God wants me to be. I don't want to disobey God. I want to follow Him, I want to know His plan for me. And with His help, I want to live out my life according to His plan and purpose for me. He promises me in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has plans to prosper me, not to harm me...to give me a future filled with hope (NET).
So, this is my revelation...that I'm a remnant. I don't belong because I'm not supposed to belong. That the Jews and the Gentiles WILL see a time of harmony, true harmony and where we will ALL see God, see His truth and have the eternal life He promised us all. It started with the Jews, it will end with the Jews, but only after the full number of Gentiles have come in. God's promise is being fulfilled, right now, and I'm a part of that as a Jewish believer. And you are a part of that, as a Jew, as a Gentile, as a non-believer. We are ALL part of God's plan, we're all His children. Look, listen, and follow the path He has laid out for you. Believe. Hope. Have faith. I think I'm starting to have all these things. It's a process and some days are easier than others. This is my journey. Come along with me for the ride!!
Thank you God for answering my prayer in such a powerful, personal way this week. You are so faithful and I am so humbled that You would choose to reveal Your truth to me. I pray that You will give me the eyes to see, the mind to know and the heart to understand what your plan is for me and that You will give me the courage and the strength and the wisdom to follow the path You lay before me. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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